Always Left Feeling Not Good Enough? The Real Reasons Why

Tried positive thinking and affirmations? Read all the advice about self confidence? But deep down still are left feeling not good enough? Feeling inadequate is one thing to understand mentally. But to actually change it and stop beating yourself up requires some serious inner work. Why? Low self-worth often stems from very deep-rooted issues. This becomes clear looking at the … [Read Entire Story]

Reparenting Yourself – How to Heal the Mother Wound

Our mothers give us life. In the face of this, it can feel hard to admit if our mother was unable to provide us with the unconditional love, support and safety we needed. How can we heal the mother wound and stop wandering through life without the self-esteem that others seem to naturally have?  At [Read Entire Story]

The Mother Wound – Were You Under Mothered?

The mother wound is not a clinical diagnosis. But is a useful short hand to describe a very real psychological issue – being under mothered. Those with a mother wound are left to navigate adulthood without the base of confidence and security that enough mothering instills. [Do you feel your mother issues are so [Read Entire Story]

The Steps to Wellbeing – And Are You Making These Classic Mistakes?

You take care of your physical health – but what about your emotional and mental health? Are you taking the right steps to wellbeing? Can’t find your way to wellbeing lately? And need support?  Our new booking site helps you find a Skype or phone counsellor quickly and easily, no matter your budget or where you [Read Entire Story]

Teen Mental Health – How Can You Get the Help You Need?

How can you get help with teen mental health? And what pitfalls do you need to look out for?  Being a teenager is hard enough. If you also suffer from anxiety, depression, childhood trauma, or other mental health issues, it can feel overwhelming. But there IS help. How to Find Support With Teen Mental Health … [Read Entire Story]

How to Stop Judging Others (and Feel Better About Yourself)

In our previous article we discussed what judging others is all about. Why we do it, the benefits and pitfalls of judging people, and how we end up the sort of person who is always judgmental in the first place. The next question becomes, how to stop judging others all the time? How to Stop Judging Others  … [Read Entire Story]

Judging People – Why We Do it and the Price We Pay

You can tell yourself it’s only something you do with close friends. It’s just a bit of humour, or ‘you don’t really mean it’. But deep down, most of us know that judging people isn’t a good idea. It’s as if something inside of us feels not quite right with each snide remark that leaves … [Read Entire Story]

“Why Do I Feel Guilty All the Time?”

Guilt, according to evolutionary psychology, was the brain’s way of  making sure we didn’t veer into behaviour that would leave us ostracised from the tribe. And even nowadays a little guilt is a good thing – not having any is a sign of sociopathy or narcissistic personality disorder. But what if you feel guilt all … [Read Entire Story]

The Pain of Rejection – Why Does it Keep Happening To You?

Again you tried to connect with someone, and again it didn’t work out. You can pretend you don’t care, but deep down you feel betrayed and used. Why do people keep rejecting you, and why does it hurt so much? Rejection vs Feelings of Rejection Rejection itself is quite logically a straight out ‘no’. A … [Read Entire Story]

Values and Beliefs – Both Powerful, But What’s the Difference?

Values and beliefs are two things you will find yourself talking about should you attend sessions with a coach, counsellor, or psychotherapist. Why beliefs and values are so important in therapy They are both invaluable tools for: understanding who you are deciphering why you have made the decisions you have in life learning [Read Entire Story]

How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Behaviour

Self-sabotage is the fine art of of taking action against yourself, convincing yourself you don’t want the things you actually do and driving away opportunity. Not sure that’s you? read our connected piece, “What is self-sabotage and why do I do it?“. A powerful habit, it can become second nature for you to destroy what you … [Read Entire Story]

Abandonment Issues – Are They Your Real Problem?

What are abandonment issues? Abandonment issues are problems in your relationships and in trusting others. They stem from life experiences that left you feeling you could not rely on others to take care of you and be there for you. Experiences of abandonment leave us feeling disconnected from others and misunderstood, try as we might … [Read Entire Story]

Do You Have a Victim Personality? 12 Ways to Tell

Being told you have a victim personality tends to cause defensiveness in most of us. Victimhood actually offers a lot of hidden power we might be loathe to admit we are taking, or to then give up.  Read our adjoining piece “what is the victim mentality?’ for more on just how this works. But admitting … [Read Entire Story]

What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), also called just ‘body dysmorphia’, is an anxiety disorder about the way you look. It sees you persistently distressed and distracted because you perceive your appearance, or a part of your body, in a negative way and as different than it really is. Either an actual bodily flaw is extremely exaggerated, … [Read Entire Story]

Self Sabotage – What It Looks Like and Why You Do It

Self-sabotage means you take actions against yourself. You stop yourself from achieving the goals you want, drive away the relationships you want, and convince yourself you don’t want what you actually do want. You could sum up self-sabotage as ‘working against yourself’. What does self-sabotage in action look like? Sabotage can hide behind impulsiveness and a … [Read Entire Story]

The Victim Mentality – What It Is and Why You Use It

What is a ‘Victim Mentality’? Having a a ‘victim mentality’ means you blame your challenges in life on others around you, even if you can’t prove their negative actions.  You might also blame many things on circumstances, which you see as always unfair.  Being a Victim vs Self Pity vs Victim Mentality Bad things can happen in … [Read Entire Story]

Negative Thoughts – The Secret Cause of Your Low Self-Esteem?

It’s true we all experience negative thoughts when life gets challenging and we feel overwhelmed. But perhaps the thoughts that do the most damage aren’t the big despairing ones, but the constant stream of negative thoughts you might be having on a daily basis without even realising it.  But they are just thoughts, what’s the … [Read Entire Story]

Shame – is This Emotion Secretly Ruling Your Life?

Shame is a word we attribute with many meanings. We say we ‘feel ashamed’ if we mess up at work, or disappoint a partner. Or ‘don’t shame me’ if someone is putting us down. The examples above really talk about guilt – – our awareness that our actions have upset others. Shame might be triggered by a poor choice … [Read Entire Story]

Everyone Else’s Fault? How to Stop Projecting Feelings Onto Others

What is projection anyway? You don’t want to go out for the evening, but convince  yourself the other party actually doesn’t find you interesting and that’s why you’re cancelling. You are incredibly attracted to a colleague, but get angry at them for flirting with you. In a fight with your sister you stay very calm, pointing … [Read Entire Story]

11 Tools For Building Confidence – Starting Today

It seems that in today’s modern world,  confidence is a currency similar to money – we all want more of it, and it never seems enough. This is in part because of the self-help movement’s connection of confidence with success. (But this concept is actually a myth- more on that later.) It’s possible many of us actually … [Read Entire Story]

Comparing Yourself to Others – Can It Ever Be Helpful?

From a parent telling us we have been better behaved than a sibling, to a teacher who keeps a chart with students’ names and gold stars, we are taught the idea of comparing  from very young. In psychology, the human drive to compare ourselves to others is called “social comparison theory”. Social comparison theory The theory … [Read Entire Story]

Low Self-Confidence – How Much of a Problem Is It, Really?

It’s easy to blame many of our problems in life on low self-confidence. But is your confidence as low as you think? And if you do struggle to be confident, how worried should you be when it comes to your psychological health?  What is self-confidence? Self-confidence is both a state of certainty and a positive … [Read Entire Story]

12 Steps to Overcoming Bitterness

Anger involves outrage followed by action, as you decide how best to handle your situation. Bitterness can feel worse than anger because it involves feeling helpless. Referred to as ’embitterment’ in psychology circles, bitterness happens when you feel there is no action left to take because everything is out of your control. While it might be … [Read Entire Story]

The New Self Care – Can It Protect Your Psychological Health?

Once seen as just about taking care of your physical health, such as eating well and exercising, self care is now viewed in a much more holistic manner. Not only is there your physical health to take care of, but also your mental health, emotional health, and spiritual health. Really, you can practise self care … [Read Entire Story]