Judging People – Why We Do it and the Price We Pay

You can tell yourself it’s only something you do with close friends. It’s just a bit of humour, or ‘you don’t really mean it’. But deep down, most of us know that judging people isn’t a good idea. It’s as if something inside of us feels not quite right with each snide remark that leaves … [Read Entire Story]

What is Relational Therapy and Can It Help You?

Do you often find that your relationships are affecting your mood? Are you anxious when it comes to social situations like the workplace? Or do you have a tendency to push people away even if you want them to like you? Relational therapy might be for you. What is relational therapy? Arising from the psychodynamic … [Read Entire Story]

What Does Feeling Vulnerable Mean? (Perhaps Not What You Think)

Have you always secretly maintained that being emotionally vulnerable is a terrible idea?  For those of us who experienced childhood trauma (and sadly, that’s many of us) avoiding emotional vulnerability might have been a useful survival tactic. We just couldn’t bear to feel any more emotional pain, so we learned to dodge it. But are … [Read Entire Story]

When Your Sex Life With Your Partner Dies – 3 Ways Forward

Is your relationship still alive (or at least dragging along), but your sex life is a desert?  What can you do if your sex life has ground to a halt?  Re-Starting Your Sex Life The below tools for re-starting your sex life with a long-term partner assume the following. 1.) You have both taken the … [Read Entire Story]

Find Trusting Others way too Hard? This Can Help

Do you find that trust just doesn’t come naturally for you? That you feel anxious and paranoid when you try? Or is your ‘trust radar’ all off, meaning you tend to trust the wrong people who inevitably let you down? How to be better at trusting others  1. Recognise that you already have the capacity to trust.  … [Read Entire Story]

What is Trust, Really? And Is It as Important as They Say?

Trust is a word we can throw around so easily. “I don’t trust anyone”. “Why should I trust you?”. “You have to trust yourself before you can trust others”. But what IS trust, really? And why does it matter so much when it comes to emotional wellbeing? What is trust? It’s a massive concept, with … [Read Entire Story]

Assumptions in Relationships – Are They Wrecking Everything?

Assumptions are powerful little numbers. Masquerading as ‘facts’, they see you making choices based on little more than good guesses. And assumptions in relationships can be particularly destructive, wreaking havoc in both your work, home, and social lives. Not sure what a healthy relationship even is? Read our Guide to Good Relationships. What do assumptions sound like? … [Read Entire Story]

Connecting With People – What It Is and Isn’t, And Why You Might Find It Hard

Connecting with others is now proven by research to be good for our moods, and even our physical health. But what is “connecting to people”, really? What makes it so important? How can you tell if you are actually connecting to others, and what can you do if this subject a constant struggle for you? … [Read Entire Story]

10 Most Important Relationship Laws

We all crave being loved, cared for, appreciated and understood. 99% of what we do, think, say, fear, and desire can be, one way or another, linked back to our need for affiliation and approval. And this is not surprising, because without close satisfying relationships our life becomes lonely, boring and meaningless. Relationships, on the other hand, make it exciting, meaningful and fulfilling. But also frustrating. Especially when people refuse to act according to our wishes or expectations. When it … [Read Entire Story]

Honesty, Criticism, or Verbal Abuse? The Crucial Difference You Need to Know

“I’m just being honest”. “It’s not criticism, you’re just too sensitive”. “But you asked for my opinion, you can’t blame me if you don’t like it”. Feedback can be confusing, especially if it comes from those we depend on or love. When is feedback useful, when is criticism worrisome, and when is it abuse and time to … [Read Entire Story]

Tony Robbins Relationships – Advice and Feeling Loved – #MentorMeTony

Dealing With Difficult People (Yes, Even Your In-Laws!) 

From cranky relatives to annoying colleagues, how can you best navigate difficult people this holiday season? 1. Show up calm. Yes, you can.  Being grounded when dealing with difficult people means the battle is half won – they are way less likely to trigger you. Sound impossible given the stress of the season? It isn’t. Resetting your … [Read Entire Story]

Tired of Being Alone? 7 Reasons You Never Attract a Healthy Relationship

Frustrated by your inability to attract a healthy relationship? And plain tired of being alone? Recognising the issue might stem from you is a powerful first step.  It means you are past the stage of making yourself a victim and blaming everyone you date, or telling yourself the disempowering fib that ‘you just haven’t found the right … [Read Entire Story]

Are You Overreacting? How to Tell

It’s normal and healthy to sometimes be very emotional. Big life challenges can evoke big reactions. And we all have tired days when we can react too quickly. But are you constantly accused of overreacting? An overreactive personality type tends to come with marked and consistent symptoms and behaviours.  Choose the answers below that are most … [Read Entire Story]

How to Handle Rejection – 5 Ways Forward

Being rejected, whether it’s in romance, friendship, or at work, never feels good. Any advice to ‘think positively’ or ‘not to let it affect you’ rarely works. So what are real tactics for managing rejection more effectively?  Does rejection seem to be a pattern in your life? Read our connected piece, “Why Does Rejection Keep Happening [Read Entire Story]

Always Picking Partners in Need of Counselling? 7 Reasons Why

Life inevitably throws curve balls and we all need help and support now and then. But if you are always attracting partners with deep-rooted issues who are in need of counselling, this isn’t just life being life. It’s a pattern that needs to be examined. 7 Reasons You Always Pick Partners With Big Unresolved Issues [Read Entire Story]

Fear of Abandonment – 12 Signs It is Secretly Sabotaging Your Relationships

Do you have trouble maintaining healthy relationships? It could be fear of abandonment at play, even if your childhood seemed stable. Abandonment issues can rise from other forms of neglect or rejection besides a parent leaving. Perhaps you had a depressed or addicted parent who had no time for you, or lost a close family member like … [Read Entire Story]

7 Common Defence Mechanisms – Are They Holding You Back?

What are defence mechanisms? Defence mechanisms are a central concept in psychoanalytic and psychodynamic psychotherapy. Unconscious strategies we use to defend ourselves against anxiety and emotional pain, defence mechanisms are also a way of self-monitoring behaviour to ensure we are ‘acceptable’ to others.  We all practise this sort of self-deception now and then. It allows allows us to maintain the image … [Read Entire Story]

Advanced Listening Skills (That Most People Don’t Know But Therapists Do!)

Why are therapists so good at making you feel heard? They have listening skills most people have no clue about. Read on for what advanced listening skills really consist of, and soon you will connect better with others and avoid unnecessary conflict in relationships by listening properly in the first place. How [Read Entire Story]

Help! My Partner Needs Therapy But Won’t Go

Do you love your partner, but feel your relationship is stuck on repeat because of his or her behaviour? Do you want them to seek the help of a counsellor or psychotherapist but they are not listening to you? What can you do? Why Are You Saying He or She Needs Therapy? If you keep suggesting … [Read Entire Story]

Abandonment Issues – Are They Your Real Problem?

What are abandonment issues? Abandonment issues are problems in your relationships and in trusting others. They stem from life experiences that left you feeling you could not rely on others to take care of you and be there for you. Experiences of abandonment leave us feeling disconnected from others and misunderstood, try as we might … [Read Entire Story]

Getting Over a Breakup -Why Do I Feel So Bad When I Chose to Leave?

You broke up with your partner, and you thought you’d feel great and free. But somehow, that wonderful liberated feeling didn’t last (if it came at all) and you are instead left feeling miserable. Before you think it must mean you are meant to get back together (remember, you broke up for a reason), learn … [Read Entire Story]

Do You Have a Victim Personality? 12 Ways to Tell

Being told you have a victim personality tends to cause defensiveness in most of us. Victimhood actually offers a lot of hidden power we might be loathe to admit we are taking, or to then give up.  Read our adjoining piece “what is the victim mentality?’ for more on just how this works. But admitting … [Read Entire Story]

Unhappy Relationships – Why You Can’t Leave When You Know You Should

Conflict is an essential part of any relationship. It allows us to face and handle differences and grow as people together. Just because a relationship has conflict doesn’t actually mean it’s time to leave. If both you and your partner are willing to put the work in and grow as people, then difficulties can be … [Read Entire Story]